Let’s face it, men can be hard to read. It’s important to avoid playing mind games, but if there’s a guy you’re eyeing, there are ways catch his attention.
Here are some tips and tricks from relationship and matchmaking experts that can help you get a man to focus his attention on you.
“Go to places that make you happy, where men happen to be,” advises Tina Tessina, Ph.D., author of “How to Be Happy Partners: Working it out Together”. A man is going to notice a woman who is having a good time and relaxing.
2. Don’t hide in the corner
Stay away from hiding yourself in the corner, with furniture or plants. It’s important to find something useful to do wherever you are (whether it’s chiming in on a group conversation or deftly maneuvering your way to the bar) because guys will notice you’re being active, and not trying to play hide and seek.
3. Ask for his help
As 1950s as this sounds, men really like being helpful. Open up about a challenging situation at work or ask him for an app recommendation. “Think of whatever you can ask him that makes him thinks he’s smart — other than his stomach, through helpfulness is the best way to get to him,” said Tessina.
4. Talk about your hobbies
Talk about little things you do, like keeping fresh flowers at home, doing yoga, reading a book every week, or getting a good night’s sleep, said Emily Holmes Hahn, founder of LastFirst bespoke matchmaking club. They might seem insignificant, but any sign of a “centered and balanced lifestyle” is encouraging, she said.
5. Don’t dress for your girlfriends
Guys don’t understand fashion trends, so save your off-the-shoulder, ruffled crop top for a girl’s night. The best way to catch a man’s eye is to wear something timeless — a classic outfit that is comfortable and you know works for you.
6. Look him in the eye
Both Tessina and Hahn recommend some classic, direct eye contact. (But don’t stare them down, either.) Some friendly eye to eye will let him know you’re interested, so don’t be afraid to eye-flirt across the room!
7. Avoid the obvious
“Don’t name drop!” cautioned Hahn. If a man compliments something you’re wearing, you shouldn’t name drop the brand, because you might come off as materialistic. “You should say you’re happy they noticed and quickly transition into another conversation,” she said.
The same goes for food and drink locations; even if you go to the coolest bars and restaurants, you should talk about more under the radar spots. You’ll have a more interesting chat by being quirky, as opposed to appearing to know it all.
8. Go out alone or with one other friend
Tessina advises against surrounding yourself with a “gaggle of girls” when going out. You’ll be hard to single out if you’re in a group.
If you do go out in a group, try to stand out from the crowd or find a way to get by yourself for a bit.
Make it clear you have something appealing about you by commenting on the conversation the guy you have your eye on is having; show off your brains and personality, not just your looks. “We have such a hard focus on looks right now that it’s refreshing to see a woman who is as fun as she is interesting and intriguing,” said Tessina.
9. Say thank you
It turns out men actually get annoyed when women don’t say thank you, according to Lori Zaslow and Jenn Zucher, founders of the matchmaking company Project Soulmate. “Even the most confident guy needs a thank you,” said Zucher. You don’t even have to say it in person — grab his number and text it after he buys you a drink. “Something about seeing it in writing feels better, and it’s such an easy way to appreciate somebody.”
10. Stay off your phone
It’s a small world, and while your head is down Instagraming your oysters, you could be meeting someone that’s right next to you. Even if you’re in the elevator, make an effort to not look at your phone and see who is around. It’s refreshing for a guy to see a woman that’s not glued to Snapchat or taking a selfie.
11. Bring your interests to the bar
Bring a book to read at the bar. Guys are looking for a reason to come up to you, said Emma Tessler, founder of the matchmaking company The Dating Ring, so give him a unique one. If reading’s not your thing, bring a sketchbook, journal or whatever hobby you have that you can take to-go.
12. Wear funky jewelry
Men will want to approach you with a comment or question, so if you’re wearing something eye catching and shiny, he’ll be able to use that as a conversation opener. Wear your biggest ring or most interesting earrings and hit two birds with one stone by having a cute accessory for your outfit and drawing someone in for a conversation.
Finally, be yourself. There’s no point in trying to be someone you’re not!